Just b r e a t h e . . . .

Now that the holiday hustle and bustle is over and the year is winding down, wouldn’t it be wonderful to take a deep breath and wind down a little with it? The last week of the year is unique as we recuperate from an extra busy month and begin gearing up for a new year. As caregivers, we need to take advantage of these few days and make a conscious effort to let go of unnecessary obligations and just b r e a t h e. . . Even though your caregiving responsibilities continue, seek for a quiet moment or two and take pleasure in one of the activities below (or one you would enjoy) this week, even if you can only do it mentally. Many of the activities can also be done with your loved one if you wish. If you are like most caregivers, you have unselfishly devoted yourself to everyone except yourself this year. During this last week, please take some time to relax, appreciate, and rejuvenate yourself for a job well done by:  

• Taking a walk and appreciating nature

• Watching a sunrise or sunset

• Taking a long hot shower or soak in the tub

• Taking a drive on a pretty road

• Visiting with a friend on the phone

• Laughing

• Watching a favorite TV show or movie with good snacks

• Reading 

• Holding hands with a loved one

• Listening to music

• Preparing some comfort food 

• Or ???

The important thing is that you break up the busy caregiving routine a little and  

b r e a t h e. . . 

The Gifts of Caregiving

During this holiday season, my thoughts have turned to the blessings and gifts of caregiving. Now that my own parents and other loved ones have passed away, I have traded long days caring for them for shorter visits to the cemetery to place a Poinsettia and provide loving care for their gravesite.  Days of stress, exhaustion, and guilt have given way to tender memories of doing my best to serve those I have loved.

Connie Goldman, author of The Gifts of Caregiving (available at Amazon.com) shares that through the caregiving experience “many of us learn something deeply meaningful and profoundly spiritual about ourselves. . . . We can expand our vision, touch new depths of compassion and gratitude, and reassess our priorities. A daughter, herself in her sixties, shared with me [the author] some thoughts as she reflected back on the time when she sat with her dying semiconscious mother. “Hard as it all had been taking charge of her personal care, seeing my own living patterns changed in almost every conceivable way, struggling with the guilt of never doing enough, still in some way I can’t really explain there’s been some immeasurable value in me just being there for her. Through this experience of caregiving, I think I’ve really grown and learned a lot about myself.”

My hope for each of you during this holiday season is that you will be able to take a few quiet moments to appreciate not only the immeasurable gift you are giving your loved one by walking alongside them in their journey, but the priceless gift they are giving you with their presence. 

Merry Christmas. 

Holiday Tips for Caregivers

Jude Roberts, a staff writer for Caregiver Magazine, shares some holidays tips for enjoying the holidays with your loved one. She states that “the key is to pace yourself, as well as to help your loved one do the same, so that neither of you will feel completely drained, depressed or overwhelmed, especially during such a special time of year.” A few more of her suggestions include: 

Try not to schedule too many social events, one right after another. Remember, when it comes to holiday events, it's the quality, not the quantity, that counts. 

Make sure that your loved one gets a chance to have some quiet time away from all the noise, stress, and chaos that is a natural part of the holidays. It’s best to spend some quiet time together, so that you both get a chance to unwind from recent events. 

Although it’s the holiday season, try to maintain the daily routine you and your loved one are used to doing.

Even before an official gathering, continually speak about the people who will be coming to visit, or who you’ll be visiting, so that the person you’re caring for will begin to start looking forward to some social time.

Play seasonal music around the house, and serve their favorite, seasonal food.

Don’t focus on how the holidays “used” to be, but focus instead on what a wonderful gift it is to have your loved one with you for yet another holiday season. The top-two priorities for you during this time of year is maintaining health and happiness, for the person you care for and for yourself as well.

Copyright1995-2010 Today’s Caregiver magazine

Adapted and reprinted with permission from http://caregiver.com/magazine/index.htm

Caring for a Family Member with Mental Illness

One of the most difficult things to deal with in regard to mental illness is the change in behavior of your family member. Your loved one may act in ways that you have never seen before and that are confusing. This is not the person you know. The loved one you know does not act this way. These changes are very discomforting. You don't know how to respond. You miss the person you knew, and could count on to act in certain ways.

Emotional reaction among family members usually follow a series of stages. The first stage usually occurs when your family has to deal with a crisis in which symptoms of mental illness are manifest. Family members can feel overwhelmed and dazed and don't know what to do or where to turn. In stage two, you are learning to cope. This stage often includes feelings of anger, guilt, and resentment. The loss of the family member that you "knew" additionally brings on a deep grief. Stage three moves from the despair to an understanding of the challenges your family member is facing and the courage required to deal with the illness.

Join us for a more in-depth discussion of these stages as well as learning more about the basic facts of various mental illnesses including anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorders, eating disorders and schizophrenia.


Thursday, December 2, 2010
Caregiver Class
11:30 - 12:30 at Courtyard at Jamestown (lunch and respite care provided)
2:00 - 3:00 pm at the American Fork Library (respite care funds available, if needed)

Hiring, Training and Managing Personal Assistants

Personal assistance services may be one of the important support systems that caregivers have. A personal assistant can give a caregiver a much-needed break, lighten their duties, and give them a chance to do other things. Equally important, it can prevent/postpone a family member from going to a nursing home or other facility and allow them to "age in place" in the comfort of their own home.

Some qualities to look for in a personal assistant are:

• Relates well with people and possesses good communication and listening skills
• Has a positive and pleasant attitude
• Good references and at least some experience and/or certification
• Looks beyond any disability to see the person in your loved one
• Respect for your privacy and confidentiality
• A clean and trustworthy appearance
• Has reliable transportation

Trust your intuition - you are your best detection instrument! Your first reaction to people will generally predict your future ease with them. Take into consideration your "gut" reaction, the information you learn in a personal interview with them and what his/her references say.

Join us at one of the following locations for a FREE class on hiring, training, and managing personal assistants on Thursday, November 18, 2010 and learn much, much more about this subject:

11:30 - 12:30 at Courtyard at Jamestown (lunch and respite care provided)
2:00 - 3:00 pm at the American Fork Library (respite care funds available, if needed)

Tribute to Caregivers

During National Caregivers Month, all caregivers deserve a sincere THANKS for all the selfless service that they give! Please know that underneath all the challenges, your loved one appreciates the following attributes you possess:

T: Thoughtful

H: Helpful

A: Always there

N: Nice

K: Kindhearted

S: Supportive

If you can, please treat yourself to one of the following conferences listed in this post and the post from last week below. Respite care and/or funds are available to enable you to attend by calling Aspen Senior Care  (801) 224-5910 or Mountainland Department of Aging (801) 229-3814.

FREE to Caregivers!

Utah Hospice & Palliative Care Organization Convention

Tuesday & Wednesday, November 9-10, 2010

9 am - 7:30 pm

Salt Lake Community College in Sandy, UT

Keynote Speaker Matt Townsend MA "Starved Stuff: Feeding the 7 Basic Needs of Healthy Relationships.Several breakout sessions for caregivers on the following topics: Financial Health Care Planning, Stress Management, Rejuvenation for Caregivers, The Ultimate Role Reversal: When Children in Families Become Caregivers, Family Dynamics in End-Stage Caregiving: Counsel from a Family Counselor, Understanding and Deciding When to Engage Palliative and Hospice Care, Saying Good-Bye, Working Together: How Professional and Lay Caregiver Partnerships Can Improve Quality of Life of a Patient or Resident with Advanced Alzheimer's and Dementia. See http://www.utahhospice.org/calendar.html to register. Conference is FREE unless you order lunch at $15/day.

November is National Family Caregivers Month

Welcome! This week marks the beginning of National Family Caregivers Month and to commemorate YOU as a tireless caregiver, we are launching our Tips for Caregivers blog in your honor. As your Area Agency on Aging, we recognize the love, compassion, and hard work you put forth as your loved one’s caregiver.  It is our goal to facilitate a useful forum for relevant information that you can use in your role as a caregiver.

We are here to serve you and your aging loved ones. Many people know us as the “Meals on Wheels” people, and we are so much more! We act as a referral for many community resources and provide various in-home caregiver services. In-home service programs provide a variety of supportive services that allow seniors at risk of being institutionalized to remain home, experiencing greater independence. We also sponsor caregiver support groups, caregiver classes, and weekly e-mails to caregivers that will remind you of the caregiver activities in your area (classes, support groups, conferences, etc). We hope you will visit our website at: http://mountainland.org/care to learn more about all of our programs as well as opportunities to volunteer. 

To commemorate National Family Caregivers Month, we hope you will be able to join us at the following events:

FINDING HOPE & HEALING

2010 Caregivers’ Conference

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

3:45 pm – 6:00 pm

Cost: FREE

Utah Valley Regional Medical Center – Northwest Plaza Clark Auditorium

1034 N 500 W, Provo, UT

Keynote speaker: Sue Bergin addressing “Approaching Death.”

There will also be a panel question and answer session and table top displays from several community organizations.

A light meal will be served.

Registration is free, but seating is limited. To register or for more information, please call Intermountain University at 801.357.8735.

Complimentary respite funds are available by calling Aspen Senior Care 801.224.5910.

 

UTAH SENIOR CARE CONFERENCE

Monday, November 15, 2010

Scera Center, 745 South State Street, Orem, UT

Cost: FREE

8 am: Registration

9 am: Keynote Speaker

9:45 am – 2 pm: Breakout Sessions & Lunch

Breakout Topics will include legal issues and financial resources, effective interaction with your physician, dementia and related issues, community resources, housing and care options, and Veteran Benefits.

Pre-registration is suggested: 801.610.4200

Free lunch for the first 300 attendees who pre-register!